| 22 weeks ago... |
[Feb. 24th, 2008|09:12 pm] |
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| |  ecstatic | ] |
my last post was 22 weeks ago. and actually i just read through my most recent entries. and well they all seem to start with its been a while or the craziest thing has happened. it most certainly has been a while and def wild things have happened. Since my last update i have officially moved in with Daryl and everything is great. he is the apple of my ear and the thing that keeps me going everyday. it really was random and it was the greatest random thing to ever happen to me. he makes me the happier person ever, he cares for me and treats me the way i deserve to be treated. i truly love him. we have had our 1st half year anniversary and our 1st Christmas thanksgiving and valentines day. all of which have been amazing. i have lost a very dear friend me to me.Jeffery Morgan Silva one of the worlds greatest was taken from us. i miss him so very much and love him even more...but i know he is looking down on us and watching us closely. i found out today my grandmas best friend passed away, god has the greatest people with him right now...between my pop my kitkat brenda lynn kyle mr diaz kathy and jeff and now peggy he is havin a party. everything happens for a reason no matter how much it hurts.
my job has been rough i cannot wait to get out. but thats why im in school now. i cannot wait to start teaching.
everything has been pretty steady though great boyfriend great friend..thats all i need :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2007|08:30 pm] |
"holly"
I think you should leave him
The next time you see him
I can't let you get hurt again
And I don't want your reasons
I know what your feeling
But he'll let you down in the end
Cause if things were the way that you say
Then you wouldn't call me like everyday
Girl I know that your young
And he seems like the one
But I think your just hurting yourself (yourself)
He'll break your defenses
And make you feel helpless
You'll fell like there's no one but him
But you'll soon regret this
Cause all this in senseless
The struggle that your caught up in
i love this song and cant get it out of me head. i think alot of girls feel this way, or have been in the situation, where you think your head over heels but your really just head up ass. ive been there and it sucks and it take a long time to break old habits. but once you do its amazing!!! never forget your better then that!
okay those are my words of advice for the next month.
Cause if things were the way that you say
Then you wouldn't call me like everyday
When the weekend is over
You'll lay on my shoulder
And tell me that you don't want him
But when he gets his boner
You'll go running over
And all that shit starts up again
I know who you are
I've been there from the start
So I'm telling you this as a friend
Don't wait till that part
When that boy tears your heart
Before you start to think with your head
Cause if things were the way that you say
Then you wouldn't call me like everyday |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2007|07:07 pm] |
i havent updated in like 1902378348 years so i figured why not i have some time to kill. everything has been kinda crazy. my friend had her baby a beautiful baby boy named Ashlynn hes adorable. ive been working 12hour days allllll week (except weds) and im working tomorrow and i did this last week too im so tired. but gotta make the money for a certain upcoming event. a bunch of other stuff has been going on but not worth discussing. daryl and i are great. i ...like him a whole like. he makes me so happy its unreal and its true happiness not just making myself think im happy so its a nice change of pace. hes turned me into a football fan and as much as he doesnt think i really enjoy it i really do i like competitive sports even if i dont know jack about them.
and ways im off.. peace hope everyone is well.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 21st, 2007|04:58 pm] |
its been a while since i have updated. i have been trying to curb my addiction to the computer. alot has happend since my last post. 3 big things. a) I turned 21. B) i have an amazing boyfriend. C) i got kicked out of my house but now i can live here and pay rent but still cant go to ny :(
my birthday was amazing and i cant thank my friends enouggh for me. it was most certainly a night to remember.
my boyfriend is amazing and i dont know how i ever got so lucky..my future will be cuddling, football parties, cooking, beer and bliss..im excited haha only leeesh really gets that.
getting kicked out blew buut i just have to pay rent now which still blows caus emy mom is like i dont know crazy and not happy at me buti know shes just not happy at life. i wish she was an di wish i could help.
any ways thats really it..so much happend but if i try to write it all ill still be sitting her typing in the morning! <3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 9th, 2007|06:10 pm] |
its been a wonderful past few days. i really missed daryl when he was at the beach and when he got home it was amazing!! he brought me back this shell with 2 doulphins in it and its sooooooooooooo pretty i looove it. he is absolutly amazing. he is a gentleman. i didnt know they were really real. its crazy. i like him so much its crazy!!!!! we cuddle to music and kiss and ahh it sjust pure happiness he is exactly what i need. and i hope i am exactly what he needs.
i am buffy fan now! hellz yes! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2007|07:06 pm] |
SUnday is only a Sunset away...is the greatest way i have ever heard anyone put anything! and its true it is a sunset away and the sunset is coming soooon!! then i will go to sleep and will be woken up by his call for sure!!! <3
this feeling is amazing i dont want to lose sight of it...
i feel like a fatass though i neeeed to get back to the gym for realll me and leesh are slacking!!!
rach mooved in to leeshes apartment..now its THIER apartment and i am soooo excited for them..i helped rach paint a bit i want to dooo moorre!! it was so much fun and the color is hot hot hot !!!!!
thats alll..i need to tend to my farm i call household right now..
i had 5 kittens and adopted shawna for a night |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2007|06:09 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nothing cause i have no cds! | ] |
whoever decided that waking up this early for work was ever a good idea should be takin out bad have an alarm clock punted up his ass. i bet they wont think it was sucha a great idea then !!!
not going to see someone till sunday boo hoo :( no like!!!
someone stole my fucking cds im sooooo pissssed!!!!! |
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| life hits you hard.. |
[Jul. 5th, 2007|07:18 pm] |
dont let it know you out.
these past few days have been CRAZY to say the least. lots freinds booze and new feelings of warmth and happiness..found in the strangest of places. not strange thats not the right word. just unexpected. i never would of guessed this could go so right. we told the other one day..and well he hasnt talked to me but i hope it will all be okay. and i hope he can be happy for me the way i tried to be happy for him.
in other news some crazy shit happend..i cant even say what it is thats how insane it is.
7.7.07 is saturday..and this make me extreamly sad and homesick.. |
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| ..butterfly |
[Jul. 1st, 2007|05:08 pm] |
Sometimes when your not looking the most random and amazing things happen. these are the thing i love soo much. it really is true when one door closes another one opens and that is exactly what has happend for me. things didnt work out with someone but its totally cool cause hes still awesome and we are still grreeat friends. cause he knows i would kick his ass if we werent.then friday night the most random and amazing thing happend.someone who i have known for a while but never really thought about in any other way other then afriend flipped my world upside down. its really a great feeling being upside down. i was so not expecting it and not trying for anything and it just happend. we kissed all night and it was amazing he held me while i slept and kissed my forehead so sweetly and just made me feel amazing. i havent had this feeling in a sucha loooooooong time. i was scared it was just gonna be a one night drunken thing , which is why i made it very clear i will not have sex with him cause well i like him. and i dont want to ruin anything. we talked all night last night when i was at a party and he was at home i saw him at work today and tonight he is coming over with a moive and booze and im so excited. and nervous. im sucha dork. but he is too and thats the greatest part. im so very happy right now ..im giddy.
and last night even tho i didnt see him it was stillll amazing cause i got to hang out with ben adam cameron anna and fat nast. and it was the shit we went to a kegger in wakeforest and got pretty fucked up and piled into annas car like a bunch of clowns. it was reallly great to hang out with them..ben adam and i made plans thursday to hang out last night cause well we dont see enough of eachother and i miss them. so yeah it was fucking awesome we sang to cocksparr and talked about shit.
my weeekend rocked. but i misss my sassy sis and bodasious bro who neeeeds to come home and hang out with me furrreealll!!!!
thats alll...abunch of nothing so much of everything. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2007|11:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mr.joel- ny state of mind | ] |
today was bad..but somethings made it better.. :)
last night movie date with mr.hair dan and kate..it was really nice..movie bit the big one buuut it was great to see dan and kate and well christopher cracks me up so it was all great.
possible scarefest tomorrow night hopefully...i hope you are aware of how easily i scare..im kind of a baby
anyways its late..i should be sleeping..but am i? noppperzzz |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2007|06:00 pm] |
this weekend was beyond amazing. friday i got out of work at 4:30 and headed for the beach to meet Nate and his friends. it was an adventure and i was slightly nervous since the only time ive ever hung with Nate was with a bunch of ppl that i knew like at seans, and i had never met his friends. so it was completely new to me. but camping on the beach i would never pass up. cause nate is an awesome kid, he is so down to earth, hilarious, and not a fake person in the least, hes a take it or leave it kinda guy and i think he is really rad for that. it was really refreshing talking to a mature guy , im so happy we are friends. when i got there we met with his friends Jason and his girl Pam (who looks just like my friend pam from New York so it was wierd) they were both sooooo nice!! my nervousness was quickly demished cause once we got together i felt like i knew these kids forever. we hung out went long boarding and waited for jasons parents to get us and bring us to the beach to set up camp. we drank by the fire and put our feet in the water there was no other place in the world i would rather be. . it was amazing the weather was beautiful.
Rach Kesha and Aviana made thier way to the beach randomly and called us and met us by our site at like 1,i was pretty drunk by then. it was sooo awesome they came.
i passed out under the stars with the sound of the waves crashing behind me..nothing is better than that.
Saturday we woke up went swimming, i had a serious case of the irish flu but after swimming a bit i was better.
spent most of the day in the water got alot of color passed out on the beach drank met some really cool people.
slept under the stars again which was soooo beautiful
we woke up this morning and packed up to head home..i didnt want to leave...nate and i drove home together cause jason left early we were both lazy as hell and falling asleep.
the people there are amazing the vibe is sooooo great and refreshing. im sad to be home but excited to go back soon. amazing weekend i wish some ppl were there..not gonna name names LEEEEEEEEESSSSSHHHHAAAFACE!! but it was great. i hope everyone else had an amazing weekend too!!<3 |
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| theres no place like home... |
[Jun. 21st, 2007|06:51 pm] |
okay so yeah.. my life..wild..crazy..kids.
ive been pretty up and down but more up then down forsure!
ive been hanging out with someone a bit and i think they are pretty rad. but i dont know..is it really there? i think we are just really good friends and are gonna stay that way..
i am going to the beach with Nathan this weekend..and i cant even begin to tell you how excited i am. waves..sand..sleeping on the beach..drinking around a fire..that is exactly where i want to be. i might not come home..i would loooove to just not come home and spend the rest of my life there. (buuut i would miss my sassy sistah and bodasious bro too much forsure) im super stoked. i have to do alot of laundry thooo..and i prob just wont shower..looove it!!!
sean said "let the magic moments roll" every moment is magical in my life for real..i am in love with my friends i am in love with the ppl i work with i am in love with my family..i am in love with life..and it is an amazing feeling..i am in love with myself..which is something everyone should be in love with but many are not.
i leave for new york soon with aaron this is going to be one of the greatest times of my life i know it. im so excited. its gonna be great. the only thing that will be missing will be cookout and jordan hahaha well accutally jordan might meet up with us while we are there...i cant wait im countin the days...
i feel free like a baby bird...i want to hold on to this feeling for as long a i can... |
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| the waves.. |
[Jun. 17th, 2007|06:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | hommmme | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bob marley | ] |
i havent updated in a while..right now life is good...boy situations are random at best and eye opening. i relize i cannot have a relationship right now or for a loooong time.
i liked aboy..but i didnt work out dont really know why just didnt oh well its cool.
i like being single its alot of fun. i can do what i want when i want and looove it!!!! ive met so many really cool people over the last few weeks.
my eyes have been open and i see a few people in a different light now. i see them for who they really are..and im not really suprised to be honest.
im not going to lie its hard getting used to lonely nights i want to fall asleep in the arms of someone warm and caring...but right now 'he' does not exsist.
i told joe for me to want a relationship with someone right now they have to absolutly positivly sweep me right off my feet, give me the floating on air feeling everytime i think of him. he has to want to be in it for me and noone else show me uncondistional caring, he has to be able to have fun but be chill too. he has to want to cuddle and give me suprise kisses and hugs and thinking of yous. he has to be as cheezy and hopelessly romantic as i am. pretty much in my eyes the perfect man. i dont need money. i dont need great looks. i just want someone who will care about me and treat me as great as i will treat them and have soo much fun too. and most of all he has to show me...i dont want to have to search for it...he will come to me i will not come to him...my whole life i have been the chaser and ive always gotten my heart broken..well it will not can not be broken again..
thats really all..
i went to the beach and it was amazing i spent alot of time with my family and looooved it. *oh yeah he has to like my family for the nuts-os they are*. i loooove my crazy family so much i will post pics later from today...
laterdays..
-AshleyElizabeth.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2007|07:54 am] |
I have alot to look foward too in the uncoming weeks...
1) im working out with rache today
2) im going in a hot motherfucking air balloon with chris next monday
3)im going to new york with antix at the end of next month
4) im turning 21 woooo
soooo exciting!! i love it!!!
i need to watch a movie tonight what should i watch? |
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| ..the greatest lovers were murders first.... |
[Jun. 10th, 2007|11:12 am] |
so yeah im so confused at this point in my life.
but im happy...
but for the 1st time i cant see where its going..im so i dont know. scared? excited? fuzzy? bubbly? kinda a little bit of everything. i like the drunken entanglement (spelling?). car rides, card games, table hockey, and indie movies.
no matter where it goes its fun so it really doesnt matter..
random i dont know i got pretty trashed last and might still be feelin it.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2007|11:27 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | radiohead | ] |
last night was alot of fun. i watched 13 conversations about one thing and the squid and the whale both amazing. chris is really good at surpise movies. he needs to work on his contacts tho haha. i hope we have more night like that i really enjoyed it.
afterwards i let him follow me back to fuckway cause well i live in the middle of nowheresville. and brought my brothers girlfriend home cause well it was graduation so they were both drunk and high. after that i went to my neighbors to celebrate graduation with my little brother and his little friends and feel so proud and old at the same time. he really did celebrate the same way i did...just a quite (kinda quite if you took out the neighborhood drunk tom outta it) sitting around a camp fire drinking and laughing. i was happy. talked to sean for awhile about this and that...he always good for that.
new york is coming so soon...but not soon enough.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2007|05:02 pm] |
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im so nervous i could puke right now. |
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| where has the time gone? |
[Jun. 8th, 2007|07:25 am] |
Dear little brother,
Here it is.the day you have dreamed about since you 1st stepped foot on that Park Ave Elementary school bus. Youve done it. Through the ups and down, spins and jolts you have made it. and with out a scratch. i cannot begin to tell you how proud i am of you. Sitting here i cant believe the little boy who used to pick his nose and make a collection on his wall is 18 years old. Graduating. Practically a man. Words cant describe how proud i am of you, i really cant even say it close to enough. These are the days you know will come eventually, but when they do your never quite ready. It seems like just yesterday i was going with dad to pick you up from pre-school where you did that silly play with the silly hats that we still have the pictures of. The only thing that i ask of you today, is follow your heart. never let anyone stand in your way. i know that sounds clique and youve heard it million times before, but it is true. in the end it doesnt matter about anyone or anything else but you, and were you are going and if you are happy. so never lose site of that. and never give yourself up for anyone. you can go so far in life i know you can. with your fighting and everything i am sooo proud of you its crazy. and i know you probably reading this going 'damn this bitch is crazy i remember when she gave me stitches" haha. No matter what you are my little brother, when you are 46 you will still be my little brother. and I love you very much, no matter what. family is family and in the end we only have eachother. so keep a good head about you little brother and you will go far. i will always be here for you....
Love Always,
Your big sister... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|10:18 pm] |
note to self: buy a hammock. so i can lay out on beautiful nights like this and fall asleep under the heat lighting.
yeah so...i dont know.im feeling lonely today.im trying to fight it but i cant. i want so badly to be in someones warm arms, not ness.a lover just a comforting human...its natural. |
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| all stirred up.. |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|07:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home.. | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | He is Legend-the seduction | ] |
Today something out of the norm happend..well i mean it is normal because i happens everyday but its not everyday you witness it. I was driving down lake wheeler and all of a sudden this dark blue Saab convertable is coming down the road while a tan late 90s camry is driving in the opposit direction. all looks normal then BAM we all come a hault. The two had become one and i cant figure out how. i mean i watch the whole thing happend and its like i just blacked out and dont remember. i dont know if its because it scared me, brought back flashbacks, i got that horrible feeling in my stomach when i knew we were going over. that moment when you feel if there was anytime to believe this would be it. suddenly i felt like i was the girl in the Saab. I dont know why it shook me up so much but it did. i cant stop thinking about it. their was gas everywhere and cars scattered. i mean it is a striaght road..3 lanes..nothing in the way. how did these two seemingly out of the norm people end up in a mass of conjoined metal and scrapnal. it really scared me i guess. one of my biggest fears is being in another car accident. after april.29th 2004 it really changed things.
It got me thinking how all the ambitions i had after that accident, all the things i was going to do because i was foutunate enough to still have my life afterwards..had all kind of faded away. when did i become this person? where did i go? i have always seen myself going to school and becoming a special education teacher or support for anyone in need. primarily disabled children, both metally and physically. i was never book smart, still not. i cant spell very well and i read kinda slow. it has always been so discouraging for me. i have always felt that i can learn through experience which i do. what i want to do they cannot teach me in school, but i cant do anything unless i have a degree. now i sit here..20..in my parents house, not getting up for school tomorrow but getting up for my full-time job as a route specialist for sears. im really dissapointed in myself to be honest. and i feel other people are too. im going to put in for financial aid. and try to do something. i cant sit in a room all day with computers. i want to help people, with thier lives not thier washer and dryers. i know i can do amazing things, i just dont apply myself, something ive been told my whole life. i know this entry has gone from a car crash to my life story but right now my life story feels like a car crash.
anyways..that was my day... |
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